The Week in Stress

Posted on 2008.09.27 at 09:14
Current Mood: crankycranky
I don't mind a bit of stress, but does everything have to hit at once?

My neighbor told us to check our cars Wednesday afternoon because someone had been in theirs and things were missing and, sure enough, everything had been yanked out of my glove box and console. Nothing was stolen from mine--I've always said that anyone who broke into my car was welcome to my tire gauge and old cassettes but apparently they didn't want to take me up on my offer--  but it utterly creeps me out that this was done while I was home. From what we can tell, these jerks walked from yard to yard in the middle of the night, looking for unlocked cars. Since we live in a rural area, that's everyone except my highly paranoid parents. I will say, they were nice enough to shut my glove box after ransacking it, so that the light didn't drain my battery, but if they'd just been smart enough to stuff everything back in nobody would have noticed their cars had been touched at all. 

I had a job interview the next day, so I was in a great mood for the "If you were a tree?" questions they threw me. I think I managed to ace the people skills portion because when they asked me how I would handle difficult patrons I managed to come back with "With a smile". Cheese-tastic.
  
I was told I'd get a call if I'm hired and a postcard if I'm not, so every ring and mail delivery has me jumpy. There were 28 applicants and only three interviews so my odds are pretty good, I just want to know now.

Continuing to prepare for the big move next week and, damn, packing sucks. Deciding what goes with me, what goes out and what goes on consignment for some extra cash is taking forever. The beauty of moving in with an antiques dealer is that I can get values on things. When we were poking around the garage for a spare dresser I found a hideous leather horse that matched one I was going to donate to Salvation Army. It had a $195 price tag so now mine's hitting e-bay or the antiques shop. Free money almost makes the aggravation worthwhile.
2 nibbles taken   Bite me
Add to Memories   Share

Novels Are My Hot Hot Sex

Posted on 2008.08.07 at 19:26
Current Music: Gogol Bordello- Wonderlust King
Tags: ,

Spotted this on 

[info]mythdefied's journal and couldn't resist. I'm such a book nerd that I gleefully record what I've read in a crude notebook chart so I can add them all up at the end of the year and feel accomplished.

The Big Read thinks the average adult has only read six of the top 100 books they've printed below. 

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicise those you intend to read 
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your own LJ so we can try and track down these people who've read 6 and force books upon them.


 

( My List )

Anyone else find it annoying that they clump Shakespeare and Lewis into "complete works" and not  Austen or Dickens?
Link  Bite me
Add to Memories   Share

Scheiss!

Posted on 2008.07.19 at 10:04
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
Current Music: Hey Seuss - 3DS
Tags:
While I love the Torrent technology that means I don't have to try and catch the one or two people in the world that have something rare that I can't otherwise get,  I hate that I've no way of previewing files until they are 100% finished.

For example, the 2 GB download of an impossible to find, not on DVD, kiwi movie  that took three days to complete before I could find out that Christmas had, in fact, not come early because said obscure movie has been entirely re-dubbed in German.
1 nibble taken  Bite me
Add to Memories   Share

Wedding Bell Blues

Posted on 2007.07.28 at 14:44

Today I have to attend a wedding solo, which sucks. With a bunch of people I don't really know, at a place I've never been, which sucks even harder.

Here are my three goals for the day:

1. I will not chicken out about driving alone to a strange place, neither before nor during the commute.

2. I will initiate at least one conversation with strangers.

3. I will dance.

Number 3 is probaly going to be the easiest, because when you pair a push up bra with a low cut dress you're bound to have a few takers, even if they are 15 year old boys who just want to rest their nose in your cleavage.

2 nibbles taken   Bite me
Add to Memories   Share

Catch-up

Posted on 2007.07.11 at 11:05

It's been a while since my last post. 11 weeks by LJ's count. It's weird because I visit every day, commenting very sporadically, but when I think of stuff to write about whatever gets composed in my head never makes it to the keyboard. 

So while I'm putting some stuff together and trying to get caught up on feedback and such here's a recap of the last six months. To keep things short, I've omitted certain unimportant things. Like pronouns. And verbs.

January Dad gets diagnosed with cancer.  Have to attend a neighbor's dinner party the same night, pretending to be normal. I drink much alcohol.

February Dad allows a simple cold to transition into walking Pneumonia. Spend 2 hours in waiting room with delirious daddy then drag him, truculent all the while, into the pharmacy for meds and juice. Pharmacist doesn't cotten to my hair streak and cool new hoodie. Declares me "scary" when I'm well within hearing. Bitch.

Also in February My Dwarf hammie, Chu, falls off my knees and hits his head on my boots. Very much not moving when I look down. Spend two hours crying over being a murderer. Hamster lives, although is still slightly wonky.

March  Discover Dad had a heart attack sometimes in last six months that nobody noticed. Surgery almost called off. Interview for reporter; write sample feature; don't get job. 

April Manager, mentor and all around awesome lady diagnosed with cancer.Get check for sample feature. Can officially start selling out now.

May Dad gets Lyme disease. 5 hours in emergency room. Days later, ignoring doctor's advice, goes outside sans sunscreen. 2nd degree burns due to solar sensitivity from Lyme meds.

Guinea pig Bodicea has seizure, dies in Mom's lap as I'm phoning vet.

June Open my back door late one night to find coyotes in my yard. One has my dog. At emergency vet until 2am. Dog looks like a muppet when the doc's finish with her, but is otherwise fine. We now own a .22 rifle.

10 nibbles taken   Bite me
Add to Memories   Share

The Wedding Registry (Sort of) Rant

Posted on 2007.04.19 at 19:08
Current Mood: mischievousmischievous
Tags:

I composed this yesterday, whilst traipsing aisles of a store that shall remain unnamed for reasons readily discernable. The original was much less coherent, had more cursing, but lacked the delightful literary flourishes. Now It's like saying 'Bitch, please' with a Regency filter, or maybe tact. I get the two confused.

For added fun, print this out and mail it to people who've announced their engagement in the local paper but you don't know.


Dear Happy Couple,

It's Spring and the bridal season is sadly upon us. It is my duty to the masses to pass the following information along to you because, frankly, we're scared to say this to your face.

Wedding presents are traditioanlly objects to help you to establish your newly created household. Now, in this day in age, the majority of couples live together before actually committing to marriage, maybe had a few babies first, so the household in question has been pretty well established by the time it's been decided to make it official.

Wedding registries are a helpful way to let your guests know the sort of small household luxuries you don’t already have, and ensure you don’t wind up with chrome cheese servers and sterling silvers tea services you have to keep, clean, and pull out of storage once every 5 years or else Great Aunt Mildred will never let you forget how ungrateful you are.

What wedding registries are emphatically NOT for:

Stuff you forgot to pick up at the grocery store - Buy your own lint rollers, Gladware, and mop heads. The rest of us have to. Hey, as long as we're out, would you like a quart of milk?

Stuff that makes us worry about your life skills - Seriously, what have you been doing all this time without a wastebasket, or a washcloth? You’re scaring everyone.

Stuff Santa didn’t bring you this year - Digital Cameras and photo printers are a somewhat justifiable request for a couple, accessories for your personal iPod are not. And if you can afford an iPod, why not a wastebasket? Try leaving better cookies next year. And straightening out your priorities. Pick all that trash up off the floor while you’re at it.

Despite what you’ve been told all your life, a wedding is not a personal holiday. Wedding guests are people too, and we have bills and expenses and can’t afford all the things we want, just like you.

So if you don’t want to start opening your gifts to find the requested carpet powder and filters for the moderately priced $500 vacuum you desire, only to discover the box for the actual vacuum has been stolen from the display model, filled with foam peanuts, and festively wrapped-- Perhaps with a nice card addressed to “You Greedy Bastards”-- you’ll get some perspective. Do not leave your kith and kin stranded and smiling apologetically at the line forming behind them as page after page spits from the store’s registry station, so we have to trudge around the store with a novella-sized testament to the decision that your personal ceremony should also be your personal bonanza. The only kind of ideas you’ll be giving us are the wrong ones.

Love, 
 
Us
1 nibble taken  Bite me
Add to Memories   Share
Posted on 2007.03.18 at 09:31
Yesterday, work was hell thanks to the canned pet food recalls (  http://www.menufoods.com/recall/index.html). Our store wasn't hit too hard since we only carry 2 out of 40+ affected brands but there was still a lot of exchanging going on, which I can't blame people for. If one flavor variety of a brand is tainted how can the company honestly claim the rest aren't? Menu Foods is not endearing themselves to anyone by stating they've found the source of the problem but are not releasing the name of the distributor or the tainted ingredient. You'd think facing a 40 million dollar payout before pet death lawsuits would make them slightly more accommodating.

Our day was eight hours of phone tag with food reps, a steady stream of faxes as the list of brands and lot numbers steadily climbed, and interrogating every customer that came our way to make sure the right people were informed, on top of the usual massive Saturday shopper traffic. A sizable chunk of our shelving is bare and there are white signs fluttering on every tier like flags of surrender, asking customers to ask us about the recall. All that and one confirmed case of a dead cat. Today will be six more hours of the same, hopefully sans the dead cat.

1 nibble taken  Bite me
Add to Memories   Share

So very true

Posted on 2007.03.16 at 17:45
QuizGalaxy!
'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com
Link  Bite me
Add to Memories   Share

A Rhetorical Question

Posted on 2007.02.08 at 16:28
When you read that  Anna Nicole Smith has died and your first reaction is to roll your eyes and say  "Yeah, right", does that make you a horrible cynic or just a horrible person?
Link  Bite me
Add to Memories   Share

I Am Not a Gourmet

Posted on 2006.12.16 at 00:34
Current Mood: hungryhungry
Can a turkey burger topped with taco cheese, ranch dressing, and Tabasco sauce really cause this level of gastric euphoria? Or does it only seem that way at 11pm, on the tail end of a week of late night writing binges and a completed 9 page story?  Or have I inadvertently stumbled onto the single greatest recipe of all time?

Now if I could just find some equivalent to take care of my poor, sore rump.
3 nibbles taken   Bite me
Add to Memories   Share
Previous 10